Being unemployed SUCKS!

So I have been unemployed since February 12, 2010. I have on average applied for 8 jobs per week. Still nothing. I miss the good old days where you would look at the Sunday job opportunities in the local paper and either email or fax about 10 resumes and by Monday would have at least 3 interviews scheduled for that week. Now I send out my resumes and apply to jobs online and am lucky to get 1 interview in a month! Not to mention how no one wants just your resume anymore. Now you have to go to a website and complete their online application. They are so detailed and take about an hour to complete. And no two are alike. I feel like I am back in school writing research papers and book reports on myself!

I have been runner up to a job that I felt was the perfect job and after going through the interview process and waiting weeks for them to come to a decision have been told they chose the other person. URG! It is so depressing. Then I applied for a job with the city. I was so excited to get a letter asking me to come and test for the position. I arrived to the building to see about 150 other people there to take the test for this one position. Then after signing in was told we were the last group out of 4 to test for this job opening. Everyone is ranked based on the scores on the test and they will only interview the top 1 to 10. After taking the 3 hour test I was confident I did well. I left praying I scored in the top 10. I got notice the following week that I ranked 17. Yes 17 out of over 600 is a great score but not good enough to be interviewed. Disappointment again! Oh and one of my favorite was receiving an email after sending my resume that just said . . . NO!

I have had numerous phone interviews, some have told me I am over qualified, others say they cannot pay me what I need to live so I do not advance to the in person interviews. So I don't think I am being discriminated because I am obese. They can't tell I am fat over the phone. I am obese but I am not LAZY!! I want to work! I stay busy by doing service in my church. I have worked at the Deseret Industries, babysit kids in the ward, help at the bishop's storehouse, go to the temple about twice a month, give rides to investigators and new members, go on church tours with the missionaries, help make humanitarian projects with my good friend Bettie and anything else I hear of that needs to be done I volunteer.

I am to the point now that when I look at a job opening I doubt my abilities and qualifications. I am suppose to go to an interview and convince the prospective employer that I am the perfect person for the job and that I will do an amazing job. But I leave wondering if I can do the job. I fear that if they hire me I won't be what they were hoping for and that I am not that amazing person who joins the team and takes them to the next level.

My ego and self confidence is damaged. I fear I will never work again and if I do I won't do a good job and will be let go. I have worked most of my life. I got my first job when I was in middle school. The longest I was unemployed was 2 years but I was a new mom, going through a divorce and trying to get my life together. I went on welfare and worked the system as it was intended. I took advantage of all the programs. They had a program where you worked for your welfare and I signed up. I got Pell grants and went to college. Before long I was hired on at Nellis Air Force Base where I was working for my welfare and my career started from there.

I hope that I can find employment soon and restore my self confidence while paying bills and treating myself to such things as getting my eyebrows waxed and pedicures. Oh and going to the movies would be oh so nice.

So if you are employed and you complain about your job, be grateful you have one! It may suck but not as bad as being unemployed!