Saturday, September 20, 2008

My divorce is final!

After being separated for 2 years my divorce was final yesterday. It is sometimes hard to believe it has been 2 years. So many good things have happened since that day yet the first year was very emotional for me. Had I been the one to initiate the divorce I do not think it would have affected me as hard. I had kicked him out several times but would take him back. I think in order for me to grow as a person I had to experience the pain of him leaving me.

It was a bitter sweet day for me yesterday. I am sad my marriage ended yet happy that it did. There are things I miss and things I am glad are gone.

Things I miss:

* The excitement of him coming home from work
* Tuesday night date night (usually dinner and a movie)
* Intimacy
*Being a two income household
*My best friend
*The thought of someone loving me
*The man I made him out to be in my head

Things I do NOT miss:

*Wondering how many women he was flirting with on the Internet that day
*Trying to guess if he wanted something or wasting my time doing it and he not want it. Which ever I chose was wrong. If I made breakfast for him he didn't want it. If I didn't, I was a lazy wife.
*Cooking for him because he never liked what I fixed
*The Porn in my home
*Worrying that he only married me for a greencard and would leave once it came
*Having to do all the housework without any help at all
*Having him get upset with me for letting a coffee sit for weeks in our bedroom instead of throwing it away (why he couldn't throw it away is beyond me)




There are days I miss him and then I talk to him on the phone or get an email from him and it only takes a few words from him to remember why I am glad we are no longer together.

7 comments:

Shellee said...

Not sure if congratulations is the right word but I am happy that you are now free to move on with your life. You're a strong and amazing person and you deserve the best. I'll keep my eyes out for that perfect polynesian ;)

staceygriff said...

I have to say congratulations for being strong and doing the right thing. sometimes, well a lot of the time the right thing is hard to do. both you and I know that. you will be proud and happy in the long run. the things you miss will not be worth the pain of the things you don't miss. If that made any sense. I too will keep my open for the perfect man for you. A man who will let my friend Brenda love her pink to her hearts desire!

SingledOut4 said...

CONGRATULATIONS!! I totally identified with everything you wrote! It's been 3 years for me and I finally feel like I'm whole again. I love you, and I'm glad we have found each other again!

Weidner Clan (Candice's View) said...

Im sorry you had to go through that pain. It is the worst feeling.I am glad you are rid of that slimy fag and are now free to find someone worth your admiration and love. I hope he gets syphlis in the brain and is miserable for the rest of his closet fag life. He is such a puke he can't even admit he likes the dong. You have always been WAY too good for him.

Brenda said...

I am very blessed to have such wonderful friends and family. I love you all!

Schueler Crew said...

HALLELUJAH! There are many more STRAIGHT men out there. You know he is a HUGE FAG ;) (no offense Tabitha)

Shanell said...

LOL...sorry, I am dying laughing as I am reading the comments Kendra and Candice left you...I take it he is gay?? just a guess. Well you are better off without him. Look how far you have come. I'm sure it is hard, but you have totally turned your life around and I know you will be blessed because of it.

Maybe, lets stay away from men without US citizenship ;-)