Death

I hate it, I fear it, I wish it didn't exist. There is not a day that goes by that I don't think about it. I know it is all part of the plan and I do believe in life after death. However I miss those who have died. I miss my Grandma and Grandad Dickerson, my Grandma and Grandpa Branscom, my good friends Jacqui Looney and Jana Walls.

I mourn the death of those I have never met! Princess Di, Pedro from the Real World, Anna Nicole Smith, Heath Ledger. It takes me about a month to get over someone's death to where I don't think about it every day and that is just for those I have never met. It takes me much longer to get over death when it is someone I care about. I am sad when animals die.

I hate getting older. I just started to learn how to enjoy life and I feel that mine is now about half over! And it freaks me out that the first half went by so fast. I fear the day I lose one of my parents and I think about that every day. I could not imagine life without them. I have about 20 more years to have my parents, if I am lucky. That is how old my son Colin is and it seems like yesterday he was born! The time goes by so fast.

I have started to reconnect with friends from high school and regret not keeping in touch with them. It is hard to comprehend that we are in high school 4 short years however they seem to have an impact on our entire lives. The friendships made during those years carry on with us for a life time. At the time high school seemed to last forever.

When Christ and Satan presented their plans in the preexistence I am sure I was one of the people on the fence. To me Satan's plan sounded good because we would just come to earth to receive a body and return. I am assuming the veil would not exist so we would remember the preexistence. I would bet that my family had to remind me why the Saviors plan was the right choice and pull me to the Saviors side.

I don't want to die! I don’t' want anyone close to me to die. You would think that I would take better care of myself and become healthy so I could live longer. However, when you are an addict you don't think of the consequences of your actions. You just feed the addiction.

The house is finally put together!

It took forever it seems but my house is finally put together! I love my house and I think Colin does too. Although the bedrooms are smaller than we are used to, it is so nice to have such a large kitchen, living room and tons of storage. Our cats seem to like the house as well. It took them a while. Some of them hid for a couple of days.

I feel so blessed to have such great friends, awesome bosses, great job, and a beautiful house. I am now looking forward to having friends over, planting a garden and just enjoying life!

I miss my friends in Issaquah and I hope they come visit. I would love for anyone to come visit anytime. I now have a home I am proud to let others in.

Additional photos

Happy 20th Birthday Colin!

Tonight at 6:30pm Colin will officially be 20 years old. He was born in Las Vegas at the no longer Women's Hospital. He was born by C section after I was induced for almost 24 hours! The first thing the doctor said when he pulled him out was "wow look at the size of balls this kid has". He was talking to the other doctor and he must have thought I was too out of it to pay attention.

Colin weighed 9 pounds 12 oz. He came into this world very stubborn! The nurses in the nursery would call me and ask if I could take him because he was throwing such a fit in the clear plastic crib thingy that he turned himself sideways. The nurses would constantly wrap him up in a blanket and cover his arms. He hated it and I finally told them if they would leave his arms free he would stop throwing fits and I was right.

It is hard for me to believe life has gone by so fast and that my one and only baby is 20 years old. I feel like it was just yesterday that he was born. I remember every detail. I love you Colin no matter how angry I get at you. I am not the best mom in the world. I know there are things I could have done better when raising you and because I didn't I am sorry. But I only wanted and continue to want the best for you in life. Just know that there is no one else in the world that will love and support you as much as your mom will and does so try to remember that when you get angry at me.

Love you Colin and Happy Birthday!

I hate moving! But love my new house!

So I am moving this weekend to Tacoma Washington. I am moving into a cute house that the company I work for owns. Yes Colin is moving with me and we are very excited to be living in a city again. I love Issaquah but I am ready for a change. I finally changed my name to Dickerson on my bank accounts, utilities and drivers license.

It amazes me how much crap I accumulate in such a short time. I have lived here almost 7 years. Moving is a great excuse to get rid of stuff I know I will never use or need. It is a lot of work however. And once you start packing and moving things around in your place you have lived in for a while you see all the dirt! My current apartment is so dirty it is freaking me out. I am going to have to clean it before my friends from my ward come over to clean!! I am very overwhelmed but trying to take it a day at a time and by Friday night if everything is not done then I will panic.

Good thing about the new house is I have a ton of storage space. There is a garage and lots of closets, pantries, etc in this house and the kitchen is 3 times the size of the one in my apartment! Who knows I might start cooking a lot more now that I will have the room. I also have a huge back yard and a great place to plant a garden!

I will post pictures once I get my house put together but here are pictures of it empty.


I am sad I will be moving out of my ward and will not be close to a lot of my great friends but I am looking forward to meeting new friends and a fresh start. I have heard from several people that the single adults in my age range are a very large and active group down in Tacoma! I have joined a group for them on Facebook and am shocked at all the activities they plan and do.

I love you my Issaquah friends and I am so grateful for knowing you. I will not be a stranger! You will see me often I promise!

Change has come. It is a good day!

Merry Christmas Everyone!

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And now we have 12

Sister had another litter. This time she had 6! I love them all. She had 4 white ones, 1 orange one and 1 black with orange one. I know I am crazy. I love babies. I don't care what kind. A baby frog, baby worm, baby elephant, baby human, baby dog, baby lizard, baby snake. . . you get the point.

Lady's two kittens are almost ready to go to their new homes (my friend Heather and her family and my friend Stacey and her family). They are my favorite kittens so far. So we have a total of 12 cats in our house. Piglet recently had his manhood removed, so ends the kitten making factory.